I've been trying to keep it all together and not let the feeling that I'm drowning every time I take a breath affect my writing. I'm staying mostly on schedule with writing the first draft of my latest novel, but always, in the back of my mind, is the worry that I'm somehow letting all the stress ruin the writing. Which, of course, stresses me out even more and thus the vicious cycle continues.
Last night I couldn't sleep because I was obsessing over theme development in my book and then today was an especially hard day at work. This afternoon, I caught myself staring vacantly into the fridge for about five minutes without even realizing it, as if I somehow I would be able to subconsciously find the answers to all my problems hidden behind a half empty jar of pickles and a Tupperware of leftover gluten free spaghetti. I closed the refrigerator and suddenly it hit me: maybe I can USE these feelings in my writing. Maybe I can cash in on the frustration, anger and desolate sense of helplessness. I mean, those are perfect emotions for the characters I write about- why not let the stress work for me instead of worry about it so much?
This is probably easier said than done, but it's my new goal. If any writers out there have suggestions on how exactly to do this, I'd love to hear your thoughts. The stress isn't going away (any time soon, it seems) and the writing isn't going away (ever), so I've got to figure out how to make peace between the two. Wish me luck.
I don't want to be stressed out... I want to be like Vegas and not have a care in the world....